Seeking Sisters

I am a bit concerned about being misunderstood.  That could be something of an understatement, my close friends will tell you.  Feeling understood is very important to me and is something I'll write about another time, I'm sure.  

As I read back over my previous entry, I find myself wondering if I communicated all that I wanted to say on the topic.  Of course I didn't and there is so much elaboration to be done, were I so inclined.  Most importantly I want clarify one of the ideas I was getting at and use it as a jumping off place for today's thoughts.

In case you thought that I meant you shouldn't have girlfriends, or that you shouldn't ever be able to talk to someone about your husband... I didn't.  Titus 2:4 very clearly indicates that we are to be learning from good examples and passing on the good we have learned: "Then they can teach the younger women to love their husbands and children."   How will we do this if we are not in relationships where we can talk about HOW to love our husbands and children?  Where we can share our weaknesses and shortcomings in this regard?  Obviously we cannot follow the teaching of Titus 2 without talking about our husbands and children; however we must be ruthlessly protective of their reputations and ours.

There are older women in our communities who obviously have much to teach us, and younger women likewise who have much to learn.  But; how can we tell who they are?  By their conduct, by their marriage relationship, and by the condition of their parenting experience.

Have you met someone whose children are a bit older than yours and although you realize she makes mistakes just like you, you also can see that her children are of high character and deference to her as their mother?  What about a woman who seems so joyful in serving her husband and you can see 'that look' on his face that tells you it is mutual?  

This is your "older woman".   She has learned some things along life's way, very possibly she's done some hard business with God; but you can see the fruit of that labor.  Seek her out.  Warm her soul with your encouragement.  Ask her what God has taught her, build a relationship.

Looking the other direction, do you see a young mother who is in over her head with the quickly expanding and strengthening will of her toddler?  Or a wife who cannot seem to say anything kind about her husband?  

This is your "younger woman."  She thinks that everyone else knows what they're doing as a wife and mommy.  She is overwhelmed by a seemingly endless list of what she "should" be and what her kids "should" do.  As with your older woman, seek this one out.  Warm her soul with your encouragement.  Share what God has taught you, build a relationship.

I am absolutely convinced that one of the things Satan wants to see happen in our communities is to push us to extremes.  We can be isolated: closed up, not allowing ourselves to be discipled and built up by members of our community or we can go so far in our "vulnerability" as to lack decorum and reverence, defaming our husbands and maligning the gospel. (Titus 2:5)

God's plan for us is to be intentional and deliberate.  We are to be living in community such that others can see us for who we are and come alongside us both to receive guidance and to give it.  Let us not be too proud to receive godly counsel or too timid to gently give it. 

Remember that we ourselves are older women and younger women in a relative sense.  Inasmuch as you have learned anything in your spiritual walk, so to have you something to pass on to another.  Likewise, that which you have yet to learn is something for you seek out in another.
 
Keeping our eyes and hearts on the One who "knows how we are formed and remembers that we are dust," we go onward, seeking to adorn the gospel each day.


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Christmas Giveaway:  
I am giving one copy of this book:  
The Family by J.R. Miller to someone who comments on this post.  Originally published in 1892, it is a chewy and inspiring read.  As I read t is calling me up to a higher standard of family life, so enter at your own risk!  Drawing will be held at random and your comment must include your email address so I can contact the winner.  (*Note: facebook comments will not be considered contest entries.)