Conduct (Un?)Becoming

So, I’ve been thinking about this matter of conduct for quite a while.  The first thing that comes to mind for me is my mouth.  I realize that there is a certain irony to my waxing eloquent about words, so I trust you to read with grace and know that I tread lightly.

My mother probably spent most of my growing up years praying for my mouth.  It’s not that I was a “potty-mouth” at all ~ well, except for that one time in 3^rd grade when I tried out a word I’d heard on the bus home from public school ~ yikes!  No, Mom would have been praying for impulse control as relates to my mouth, my words, and my speech. 

Not too many years ago I read Psalm 141:3  - “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” - and I realized that this was a prayer I could not utter to often.  What I am also finding as time goes by is that God seems pleased to honor this request.  I am more thoughtful than I was, less concerned about being heard, and firmly convinced that God doesn’t need me to speak on His behalf.   I am also more aware of the impact of my words.  If people are listening, as we all hope they do when we speak, what do my words, timing, tone of voice, and turn of phrase say about me?

Let’s think about this as relates to our conduct as women.  How free are we with our words?  Particularly when we are "with the girls"... is it considered acceptable to say or do things when our men are not around that we would never say in their presence? Is this a matter of seemingly harmless mice playing while the cat is away?  Think it through… is it harmless, really?

Imagine that I tell you a ‘funny story’ about how my husband (brother, father, son) was working at a task; but it didn’t go as planned.  Maybe he wasn’t as prepared as he ought to have been.  Or maybe something changed midway through and things went awry.  Maybe his attitude was prideful, stubborn, or otherwise unattractive.  These days it would make a great situation comedy or commercial to embellish this story and deliver it with great attention to the errors that make it sound funny.   My girlfriends might all laugh knowingly and feel like I’d let them in on something… they might also think a bit less of the person about whom I spoke.

Another common behavior I see in women is one that I have fought to put down in my own life.  When we are in conversation and for example someone mistakes Tuesday for Friday in their telling of an event.  I have been quick to interrupt and correct the error; but to what end?  Did it change the substance of the conversation to have it properly seated on Friday?  Maybe what I actually added to the conversation was the notion that I remembered properly while the speaker (my husband?) did not.  In this very subtle and oft-overlooked way I have shown him to be ill-adorned.

As I look around me, the most beautiful women I know are generally slow to speak.  There is a soft strength in their countenance that lends a certain magnetism to their personality.  I find myself often wanting to know what they think about life, marriage, God, womanhood, and more.  If I am blessed with a chance to talk to them, I find that there is such richness in their wise and distilled speech that I come away with more than I expected and I am changed…polished…beautified.

Let us reflect, ladies.  Keep praying with me for the Holy Spirit to be a filter on our speech.  Remember also “The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips.  Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.   
Proverbs 16:23-24