The Power of Presence... and Absence.

We know about the power of presence, right?  When a sister, mother, friend, brother, acquaintance or even a stranger needs to be not alone.  I once tried it on a complete stranger.  He was a handsome old cowboy sitting in an overstuffed chair near the windows of the Gonda building at Mayo Clinic.  His hair was pure white, and his face was leather tanned.  His shockingly blue eyes were alternately filled with sadness, and clamped shut against the pain as he cried.  I don't know why he was crying, although he may have said.  All I know is that I couldn't just walk past that lonely-hearted cowboy.  I sat down in the next chair and asked if there was anything I could do for him.  He seemed taken aback just a little; but he was gracious.  He said there was nothing I could do.  His wife recently died and now he has a terminal health issue of his own... there was nothing left to do.  I asked if I could pray with him and he declined, saying that praying was all he'd been doing since she'd been gone.  I was late for my appointment, so I gave his shoulder a squeeze and said I felt like his heart needed to know that he is not alone.  His prayers are heard, his tears are collected and prized.

Sometimes people ask why I sit in the front row for three services every Sunday, and as I've been thinking through my conviction on the matter, I realized that it's the ministry of presence in another context.  I am aware of the power of my actions, and that I say so much more with my behavior than I do with just words.  Everyone knows this is true.  If I say I love you; but never have time to sit with you or serve you, how much do I really love you?

I have heard many ministry wives who abhor the idea that there is any "should" to our role.  That is, we don't like the idea that there is a bucket of expectations handed to us when our husbands are called to ministry.  It occurs to me that this may be on account of an unfortunate habit of trying to make everyone carry the same bucket.  You know what I mean:  the pastor's wife must play piano or sing and she should teach Sunday school, and.. and...and. 

Recently, my Pastor Husband used the phrase "you-sized stewardship" in his sermon.  That is what I'm talking about here... there is absolutely a bucket of expectations handed to me.  Only some of them will be met, because they are within the stewardship fitted to me and in this way, my bucket is renamed... from expectations to stewardship.  The obvious question is, how do I know which is which?  The only helpful answer I can come up with is through prayer and spiritual advisers.  The first of those advisers is my husband himself, the small circle of others includes mature believers with a like-minded dedication to the church.

One of the rocks in my bucket of stewardship is this ministry of presence.  I am here.  Or there.  I am wherever God will be most glorified to find me.  I believe with all my heart that "through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known."  Meeting together is of utmost importance.  When I take my post at the front of that auditorium, my heart is at the center of what God is doing through me on Sunday morning.  I place myself at his right hand and make sure my husband knows that I am honored to sit under his teaching.  I smile, dance, and worship from my toes, hoping the leaders can see how thankful I am for them.  I listen, focus, and note-take through all three services because the teaching is that good; because the Word of God is that important; because I need this building up to pour out.  I desire to be a fixture in the front of our beloved hundreds, because the meeting together in worship is the capstone of our week and ought not be treated with the nonchalance of another event or program we choose to attend.

Recent statistics show that the average self-labeled christian attends a church they consider home and claim commitment to only 2 times per month.  What message does this send?  If ours is a church called home by 1800 people; but less than 900 of them attend on any given week, how can it really be considered a priority? As a ministry wife, I cannot change nor do I answer for the choices of each of these households.  I can, however, make as strong a statement as possible with my own behavior.  I will be there.  I am not free to join a fellowship group or serve in the nursery or sell donuts.  I am the only Lead Pastor's wife our church has, and may God be pleased to lead me to my seat each week, where an expression of my worship is this sold-out commitment to be. right. there.

So, think it through, girls...do we come in late?  Are we disheveled? Do we distract or disturb with our arrival?  Are we cranky because had to get the kids out the door by myself? Do we sit near the back and avoid being seen?  It is by our behavior that our character is known... as Christians, as friends, and my point here: as wives.