Opinions and Convictions

There was a time when all of my opinions were instant conviction... white-hot and non-negotiable, they were quickly drawn and fiercely defended.  Over time I have learned to consider even my own opinions lightly until God, through His word and His people, would harden them into gems of conviction.   I have learned that sometimes big things in my own heart don't have any particular significance in the world around me and so I hold them more loosely than I once did. 

This is an issue that has me tongue-tied these days.  I believe that as his wife, I can be considered an agent of my husband.  That is to say that insofar as I am known to be a godly woman, living in submission to and agreement with her husband, there ought not be much difference between my convictions and his.  This is true in our case with one caveat:  I am more emotionally expressive and passionate than he, so I can be more opinionated and less tempered in my expression than he is.

The reason this matters to me is that as a ministry wife, it is conceivable for a misunderstanding or sense of judgment from me to be equivocated into misunderstanding and judgment from my husband.  This is true for women in general; but I submit that there is more potential for harm or good from a ministry wife.  This goes back to some of my early posts about the effect of my conduct on his stature and reputation in our community and it is the "new voice" at the end of last week's post. 

Here's where it gets difficult.  Based on what I know to be true about non-verbal communication and the power of my wordless testimony, must I temper the outward manifestation of my inner convictions for the good of my community?  Or is that just a bejumbled mess of lies to keep me from living with integrity?  How can I authentically live out my convictions without standing in judgment over the people around me?
 

It is scary to consider being perfectly open and frank about some of my convictions, for I know and love many who do not share them.  Still, I must live them out with grace and love.  

James 4:17     ^"So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."

That's what it all comes down to, right?  If the Holy Spirit has wrought a conviction in my heart, then it is sinful for me to ignore it with my choices. I long to live a life that is marked by grace and security.  Grace for diverging convictions and security in my position before the Master.  

Romans 14:4 "Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand."

My desire is to foster a community that is full of faith and integrity; overflowing with love such that our convictions about disputable matters need not agree in order for us to be found in relationships of mutual understanding.  I wish to not be judged for a difference in convictions, and I intend never to wound another in that way.  

Even so, I wrestle with the knowledge that in our culture, the very presence of any conviction can be considered judgment. (click here for a sermon on properly understanding judgment.)  See how Satan does that?  My personal exercise of discerning judgment in a particular matter can be twisted into pejorative judgment of others.    

Jesus, help us!  May we be women who are mindful of the power of our convictions as found in words and deeds.  May we live with hearts wide open to the variegated nature of God's family, and may we be marked by love for God, His Church, and one another.  

 

 

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